2 Mayıs 2014 Cuma

Argumentative Essay 1


Should School Provide Moral Education for Youth, or Should Instruction in Values Be Left to Parents?

                Learning is the most important things in our life, so it is essential for every part of our lives. Therefore, learning moral education which is one of the most important parts of education isn’t enough. However, it can be accepted that the most important term is childhood because children’s memories, style of life and thoughts determine that how they lead their lives. So, it can’t be said that instruction in values should be left to parents.

It’s accepted that education starts in family and it is started by parents. These things which are learned by children from their parents effect children’s life. Thanks to them, Children choose their truths and wrongs. However, because this term is major and children’s thoughts can be affected easily by small sentences. Their thoughts and believes which are learned can change if they aren’t learned constantly. So, they must learn something for their moral education in every part of time and learning in only home isn’t enough to have a good moral education.

Children learn and do lots of things in their childhood term but they determine their behaviors according to their morality. However, their moralities are determined by their surroundings, so where they spend their time and with whom they are spend their time are two factors of shaping their lives. They are at school in most of their time and there isn’t so much time for them expect for school.  Therefore, they can’t learn anything whether it is about moral behaviors or not if they don’t learn them at schools.

They generally connected with their surroundings and it is necessary to get morality and raise their morality. They are connected with their friends when they are at school, so their morality shape what they see their friends. If all children don’t learn same morality behavior, they can’t decide their behaviors. One way of learning same moral behaviors is education which is made at schools because most students behave considering their teachers what teach them.

They can’t behave morally if they don’t know how to behave in a moral way. They can’t learn it only at home because parents generally don’t enough time to be interested in their children’s behaviors. Parents are at school and children are school in all day, so they can’t spend so much time to teach how they behave towards their, friends and person elder than them. Moreover, parents generally think that children can learn moral behavior when they live because they generally accept that their children don’t imitate only them and other factors are important.

As long as children learn moral behavior, the possibility of being accepted by others is high. If they don’t have moral behaviors, they can understand everything but they may not how to behave. Education can’t be separated and it goes on develop every part of people’s lives. Because youth is also important, moral education which is provided by parents can’t be enough and schools should provide moral education for youth.

5 yorum:

  1. 1) These things which are learned by children from their parents effect (Word Formation) children’s life.
    2) Thanks to them, Children (Capitalization) choose their truths and wrongs.
    3) However, because this term is major and children’s thoughts can be affected easily by small sentences.--> Revise this sentence.

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  2. 1)So, they must learn something for their moral education in every part of time and( change coordinater) learning in only home isn’t enough to have a good moral education.
    2) Children learn and do lots of things in their childhood term (punctuation)but they determine their behaviors according to their morality.
    3) They generally connected (tense agreement) with their surroundings and it is necessary to get morality and raise their morality.

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  3. 1)Their thoughts and believes* which are learned can change if they aren’t learned constantly : beliefs is more appropriate in this context than believes.(1. body prag).

    2) However, their moralities are determined by their surroundings, so where they spend their time and with whom they (are spend) their time are two factors of shaping their lives : tense error (2. body parag.).

    3)They are at school in most of their time and there isn’t so much time for them expect* for school : Expect or except : wrong word (2. body parag.).

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  4. 1-) Learning is the most important things(singular- plural) in our life, so it is essential for every part of our lives. (essential-important is synonym, so does it make sense to use two of them in the same sentence?) (paragraph1 , line 1)

    2-) Therefore, learning moral education which is one of the most important parts of education isn’t enough. ( you have already mentioned about the importance of moral education a sentence before, so why do you use a relative clause to make it more specific? ) (paragraph 1, line 2)

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  5. 1) . Parents are at school and children are (article) school in all day, so they can’t spend so much time to teach how they behave towards their, friends and person elder than them.(paragraph 5)
    2) If they don’t have moral behaviors, they can understand everything but they may not (missing verb) how to behave.(paragraph 6)
    3) Education can’t be separated and it goes on (After preposition, you should use gerund.) develop every part of people’s lives. (paragraph 6)

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